Who do you blame?

I heard something the other day that has stuck with me.  Who do you blame for your situation?  Do you blame someone else, your brother, your sister, your mother or father, or do you blame the government for your predicament?  What can you do about that?

Well the blame game started long before you and me.  It all started back with Adam and Eve.  Adam blamed Eve for giving him the apple; Eve blamed the snake (Satan). 

Genesis 3:9-13 God called to the Man: "Where are you?"   He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid."   God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?"  The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it."  God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?"   "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate."

So we are not alone in blaming someone else for our decisions.  But what happens when we do that?  I read a quote that said: “By blaming others, we fail to acknowledge our own personal failures, and thereby rob ourselves of the opportunity to repent, to learn from our mistakes…the moment we blame another for something which is our personal responsibility, we do nothing less than condemn ourselves to repeat our mistake.”

Jesus even told us that in Matthew 7:1-5 “Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Blaming ruins our relationships with others, because in our attempt to find a scapegoat we often blame innocent people who love and care for us. What’s worse is while the blamer remains defiant, aggressive and inconsiderate; the person who is blamed suffers with guilt, frustration, anger and isolation. In all relationships blaming others is a ‘lose-lose’ equation.

I heard another quote that goes: “A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.”

Most of you that know me, know that I enjoy playing golf.  Now that’s an easy game to blame others or on a distraction.  But like I always say, “It’s not the arrow, it’s the shooter.” 

Another quote about blaming others is from golf professional Chi Chi Rodriguez “Blaming others takes an enormous amount of mental energy. It's a "drag-me-down" mind-set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is contingent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can't control. When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will see yourself as a choice maker. You will know that when you are upset, you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can also play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is a great deal more fun and much easier to manage when you stop blaming others. Give it a try and see what happens.”

So how do we stop that pattern or habit of blaming others to our own problems?  Well the way I see it, we can’t.  Why do I say that?  Because it takes a change of heart and only God can change one’s heart. Once we ask God to change our hearts our attitude will quickly follow.

As we read in Ezekiel 36:26-27 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

Blame never affirms, it assaults.
Blame never restores, it wounds.
Blame never solves, it complicates.
Blame never unites, it separates.
Blame never smiles, it frowns.
Blame never forgives, it rejects.
Blame never forgets, it remembers.
Blame never builds, it destroys.

Let’s admit it – not until we stop blaming will we start enjoying health and happiness again!
Blame backfires, hurting us more than the object of our resentment. - Charles Swindoll

So now who do you blame?