You know the older I get the more that I believe that relationships mean more to me than things. What I mean by that is that I believe that the more friends we gather around us, the better off we are than if we buy things.
Listen to the news. At least around Washington DC, I constantly hear negative articles on the news. You hear many stories about people who get into fights, conflicts about crazy things and the terrible results. You can easily search the internet to find senseless murders.
In Toronto a 29 year old woman was killed by her neighbor, because she went to talk to him about false accusations made about her.A 14-year-old girl has been charged with murder for shooting another teen girl in Chicago in a confrontation that allegedly began with a dispute over a boy on Facebook.
Although these are extreme cases and responses, it can be difficult maintaining positive relationships with others. As Christians we will have times of conflict; sometimes with a neighbor who seems unbearable, sometimes with an employer, customer, or government official who seems overly demanding or unfair, sometimes with a relative, fellow Christian or even another church. The answer to handling these type problems is not revenge, hostility or avoidance of the problem, which is not a real possibility anyways.
Romans 12:17-19 (MSG) Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
How do we avoid these conflicts, or as ole Barney Fife would have said, “Nip it in the bud”? We spend time with people, get to know one another, we build relationships. We sit down and visit with one another. Get to know each other. Learn about each other. In other words, specifically the NIV for Romans 12:18 … live at peace with everyone. Being proactive helps avoid future conflicts.
You so that’s hard, as I don’t have enough time to get to know each person in my life. Well, start with one at a time. Take 5-10 minutes with someone. Ask them about themselves. What are they involved in? What do they want to see from other people? Just spend time with them and be honest.
Ephesians 4:25 (NIV) Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
It is amazing how many conflicts are caused or magnified by simple dishonesty. We try to save face or make ourselves look good in the eyes of others by lying. No, stop. Lying gets us nowhere. God shows us how to live as Christians in Ephesians 4:17-32.
Proverbs 19:11 (NIV) A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Be open with others about problems. As Christians we overlook offenses as the Bible tells us in Proverbs 19:11 but if the problem is serious or ongoing then we are instructed to go to our brother and point out the offense. But, there are times when we should let things slide. This is when you know the person and why they said or what they did. You know their heart well enough to either let it slide or tell them they have hurt you. I personally find this real hard to do. I have a tendency to let things slide and will avoid confrontation.
Matthew 18:15 (MSG) “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.
Again, this talking about reaching out to someone and either establishing a relationship or nurturing a relationship. We are told to approach those who have offended us, but we are to do so with love, humility, and in private.
Sometimes problems and conflicts are made much worse by not being open about the problems with the person who has offended us. We may talk to everyone else but not to them. Often in our efforts to keep the peace we make things worse by not speaking up. This is true at work where we may not be up front about issues that are bugging us. This may be the case with a neighbor when we’re not open about a divisive issue or it may be in the church when we are not sharing our real concerns in an appropriate manner.
Do not make assumptions about another’s knowledge of a problem. Many people do not even know that they have offended you or they may sense hostility toward them. They are bewildered as to what the problem is and, although, it may be obvious to you but not to them.
But the most important relationship to have is one with Jesus Christ. Without first having that relationship it makes it almost impossible to have a positive relationship with anyone. Through this relationship with Christ we will experience peace, purpose, and as a result have eternal life. This is the purpose of why we are on earth, so we may enjoy a relationship with God.
Jesus indicated that our first priority was to have a relationship with God and then a relationship with our fellow man. You can’t have the first without the second or vice versa. So, where are you in your relationship with God today? What about your relationship with your fellow man?
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV) 36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Now go and make those relationships! GO BE THE CHURCH!
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