Narcissism

Romans 2:5-8 But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.”  To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.

Narcissism is a term that originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology that fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Currently it is used to describe a person characterized by egotism, vanity, pride, or selfishness.

I have been hearing this word a lot lately and how it relates to relationships. I can’t remember what Hollywood couple I recently heard split up because both were narcissistic, but it does seem like there are so many of them.

Narcissistic people think of themselves first before thinking of others. Sometimes thinking of one’s self first is good, but not to where it effects your relationships with others. Being selfish is never a good thing when you are trying to have any type of relationship with another person. Being self-centered with another self-centered person is a recipe for disaster. Two people in a relationship has a give and take attitude, but when both are self-obsessed about one upping or getting more than the other, will NEVER work.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

The “look at me” mentality seemingly promoted by social networks like Facebook has people positively enamored with the image they present to the world. Are we that self-conscious that we need to boast and brag about everything that we do? Yeah, I know, I am guilty as well.

Are we in a deep need for admiration that we feel a need for an inflated sense of our own importance? Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”

James 3:14-16 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Who are we trying to please or impress, ourselves, others, or God? The one true God is the only one that we should strive to please and that should be done in an effort not to try to look good, but with a humble heart.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Another key aspect of narcissism is the narcissist's blatant lack of empathy. They are without mercy or compassion for anyone else. Oh, they are often known as people of "strong feelings" (their narcissistic rages and temper tantrums come to mind), but those feelings are always reserved for themselves.

In addition, narcissistic people will always turn any conversation or situation around to them. People think that narcissistic people have no feelings for others, right? All humans have emotions. It is how we choose to relate to our emotions that matters. The narcissist's positive emotions come bundled with very negative ones. This is the outcome of frustration and the consequent transformations of aggression.

So do you see yourself as a narcissist, are you living a miserable life, and want to change? Is there a cure for all this me-me-me? I can emphatically say that Jesus is the cure for narcissism.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus [having the same mind as Christ]: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death– even death on a cross! Philippians 2: 1-6.

“Jesus, my thoughts of self—either feeling superior to others or feeling inferior to others, my feelings of desperation and needing to be needed, noticed and loved are often so consuming that I almost wish I could really die. So, right now I choose to die to ME, the little “i-am,” and I exchange all of these things for You, the I AM THAT I AM. Come and be my will today. Come and be my emotions, my love, my compassion, my wisdom. I exchange “i-am” for Your mind, Your will, Your emotions, Your thoughts about my life and situation, Your decisions, Your love, Your compassion, Your comfort, Your encouragement. Today I refuse to be a narcissist. Today I choose to die to self and to live from You, not for You, but from You.”