Live like you were dying

I heard Tim McGraw’s song “Live like you were dying” recently and began to think about the line: …and I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying… and thought how can I live like I’m dying through God’s word.

“Love does not seek its own…" 1 Corinthians 13:5

Jayne and I have been married 30+ years. We raised 2 children into young adults and after our youngest left for school, we felt something was missing. We realized that it was just her and I now to live out our dreams from many years ago, but how do we get that dating feeling back? So we agreed that we would set aside one night a week for “Date Night”. This could include going out to a fancy dinner, to ordering pizza and watching a movie. In any case this night was set aside for just her and me.

Love Deeper - Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Ephesians 5:24-25 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Paul told us in these verses how this whole marriage thing was to work. Unfortunately, I’ve heard the first half of those verse pairings – the "women submit" part – quoted and exercised far more often than the equally important "husbands love" portion. Remember how much easier those commands seemed back then? This was the most wonderful person in the world. They communicated well, never sought their own way; it would be so easy to submit to or actively display love for them. Then time, comfort, bad habits, and the daily grind got a hold of you both.

Those simple instructions don’t seem to get us very far down the path. In fact, they seem to take us happily up to the vows and leave us there. Perhaps that’s the point. Perhaps there is no "trick" to loving deeper, you just need to get in touch with what it is you fell in love with this person for in the first place, and run with it.

Speaking Sweeter - "If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal…"
1 Corinthians 13:1

This is where I have a problem. I have a tendency to speak a little like, well as Jayne puts it “Like she’s an idiot”.

Ephesians 4:22-27 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

I recall that this did not dare rear its head during our dating days. That’s not just because I was trying to sell this woman on my finer qualities, but because I truly felt the love and respect for her that I was dishing out. I therefore gave no place to impatient, intellectually-superior speech. But gradually, I failed to guard my tongue. I don’t want to give the impression that I walk around the house grumpy and cursing when I’m actually a pretty decent husband and father, but this is where I need the most improvement in my relationships, and I know it.

Giving Forgiveness - It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].1 Corinthians 13:5 [Amplified Bible]

Do you often hear people saying, "I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget"? Thank goodness that’s not how the Lord defines forgiveness. He instead wipes out our transgressions, turns crimson to snow white. Isaiah 1:18, Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

How do handle the wrongdoings in your marriage? Do you refuse to go to bed angry, do you grant mercy every morning, or do you have a little file drawer in the back of your brain that lists All the Stupid & Hurtful Things He’s/She’s Done to Me? Once again, think back to your courtship, and ask yourself how many little mistakes and thoughtless words you let slide with little more than a tiny reprimand just because you were so in love.

Colossians 3:12-19 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

We all get caught in those lulls in marriage where the wind isn’t blowing, the air gets stale, and nothing new happens. And it’s admittedly a tad trite to think living out some song lyrics is going to lift the doldrums, but it’s worth a try. After all, one thing all married folks have in common is fond memories of meeting and dating our spouse; otherwise, hopefully, we never would have bound our lives to theirs. Looking back is a good way to appreciate all those things that led to the commitment.

Jayne told me Monday that we need another date night!